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  • Farzeen Heesambee

The sweetness of Love

This must be what love feels like; the palpitations, the heart-beating, the feelings of insecurities.

Here I was on FB, minding my own business when this post caught my eyes. At first, I almost ignored it, remembering my last heart-break, but then i grew curious. What if?

I posted on the message, whereabouts? And the person replied in Leeds. Leeds. That’s hope. I mean it wasn’t London, so there’s hope. If they could make it to Leeds then surely they can make it to Nottingham.

I checked online, on the website, it was stated loud and clear- Offer of the Week!

Hope, palpitations, heartbeats. I rushed to find my brother, he was on a phone call, apparently an important one, but I didn’t care; nothing mattered anymore.

“Move your car! Right-now! I got to go and it’s in my way!”

I quickly rushed downstairs, put my coat on, making sure I got my purse.

As soon as I got into the car, I could feel my heart skipping many a beat, it was beating too fast. Where do I go first? The usual, that seems like a good plan but then what if it doesn’t work out. Last time, that’s exactly what happened. No. Surely I was quick enough this time. They will have it!

Determined, I carried on making my way there. As I parked the car, I tried desperately to glance at the front aisle. Boxes, so many. Yes! I made it!

I quickly turned off the car, and marched towards the door, that’s when I realised there were two empty boxes. No! No! It must be something else, not what I’m looking for!

As i got closer, I realised that I couldn’t see it. I didn’t want to read the labels, but I knew that I had to, that was the only way I could find out. So relunctently I checked, it was listed, right there, right where the empty boxes were. I walked out feeling empty, disappointed and crushed.

As I started the car again. I felt a sudden heat rush. I know! I have a plan! This is the most multiethnic part of town, that is the reason why they don’t have it! I was not going to give up yet. Hope. I still had hope.

I could hear all the wires in my brain whizzing. White people. Outskirts. Lower class. Yes! That’s where I will find it. My inner racism was awakening, i wasn’t sure if it was a good thing though, i mean my kids are half white, so I can’t really be racist, can I?

I started mapping all the white, lower class and outskirts areas of the city. In my mind, I visualised the route, where I would start, where I would go next and surely one of them will have it.

Full of hope, I set out to my second destination. It wasn’t far from home and it was very white, very outskirt and ok it wasn’t totally lower class but I had to take a shot.

More palpitations, more heart racing, more hope. I parked near the entrance to the second destination and i looked up as soon as i got there, there it was, a full box . How many? How many should I take? Would it be enough? How long is it going to last? What if it doesn’t last that long? What am I going to do then?

Decision. I had to make a decision, i’ll take the full box, and the box next to it had like three left; I am not being greedy, I am leaving some for others. I mean, I have waited a whole month for this moment, so i had every right to take all of it if i wanted, but i won’t be greedy, I shall not.

So I picked the full box with this feeling of fulfilment in my heart. Success. That is true love. That must be what love is like.

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